“Next one!” the man with a rusted iron spear screamed through a tiny window, sending ripples through the mass that had gathered outside, waiting for their turns to arrive.
Two men entered the large and beautifully decorated hall, one old and fragile and the other young and erratic; they both were so mesmerized by sheer grandeur of the structure that for a second or two, the fact that they had to present their case to the almighty almost slipped their mind. They held on their sticks tightly, sweeping it over the ground, checking for any obstacle in their way. They both were blind.
The almighty rose and as soon as the others heard his rising, they rose too.
“Two faithful servants of our empire come to our doorsteps, demanding justice, justice that they deserve, justice that they will receive. I leave no stone unturned when I start looking for truth on the beach, and you my friends know that already.”
He turned around, now facing the jury that stood behind him, all in thick red robes and dark glasses that apart from the eyes covered about ninety percent of their nose as well.
“So.” He opened his big, fat mouth again. “You say that your sheep mated with his, and now you fight over the cub.”
Everyone shook their heads in amazement.
“I say just kill the cub, problem solved.”
A man came running from his side, colliding with a pillar, falling flat face up, rising again quickly, finally colliding with the almighty.
“My dear lord, that was the last case, it’s already solved. The cub’s been moved to the royal mess, it will be prepared as dinner.”
“Oho. Okay. This work pressure is killing me.” He again sat down on the huge chair that had to bear with his weight sixteen hours a day. The others heard this and sat down too.
“Oh! Almighty, Grant me justice, or I will die” The old man wept, huge tears rolling down his cheeks, damaging the carpet underneath his bare feet.
“I gave this man here five thousand tukas to keep it with him as I had to go see my dying sister in another kingdom, but when I came back he returned me just five hundred tukas, telling me it was all I gave him. I am ruined my lord, please save me.”
“Is it true, son?” The almighty asked, making a serious face, staring deep into the young man’s eyes.
“Of course not, my lord. It’s a course lie.” The man said casually, as if certain of his victory.
“So, we have a dispute, something that will endanger the lives of people of my kingdom if left unsolved.” He paused.
A few moments of an uncomfortable silence passed, everybody else was waiting for the king to finish while the king was waiting for a reaction, all were left disappointed.
“Won’t you ask why?” The almighty screamed at the top of his voice, irritation dripping down his face like sweat.
“Why?” The jury sang in unison.
“Dumb fools.” The almighty mumbled under his breath. “Because if I fail at solving their disagreement, which I assure you won’t happen, then these two might try to solve their differences through the old fashioned way, beat them till they drop. Now this old man’s pathetic legs won’t last a second in front of his adversary, so he will call for help, the young guy, fast seeing himself outnumbered will bring his friends too, soon, before you could say war, we might have one on the streets. Not a normal war, but something worse, something that will cut through my kingdom like a hot blade through a defector’s neck, a civil war!”
“Oh, no.” The jury sighed, once again in unison.
“But even if we have one, although I assure you I won’t let that happen, I know exactly how to tackle it.” He paused again, analyzing the impact of his words.
Silence engulfed the hall once again.
“Won’t you morons ask how?” The almighty’s roar travelled to the far corner of the hall, echoed and pierced a few eardrums on its way back.
“How, dear lord?” The jury said in a chorus.
Before the king could answer, a boy came running down the floor, shouting wildly, telling everybody to step back and clear the way for him, he too, you see, was blind.
“My dear lord, the queen was playing with the new live cannon you placed in your bedroom, she accidently set it off.” The boy was so tired; he was finding breathing a gruesome exercise.
“So, the cannon worked! I knew it, great!” The almighty cut him short.
“While she had her head stuck in its shot hole. Her bits are plastered on the wall facing the cannon.”
“Oh, that’s sad. But are you sure that the cannon worked?” He asked.
“Yes, my lord. It performed beautifully. Her whole body has almost been melted, real slippery! It ruined my slippers.”
“Fantastic. And by the way, which queen was it?”
“The third one.”
“Third one, you say? I don’t remember her well. Did I meet her? Was she the one who used to stammer?” The almighty said, scratching his forehead.
“No sir, the other one; the one who had amazing assets, everything all tight and stuff.” The messenger replied, with a mischievous grin which extended from one ear to another.
“Hey, minister.” The almighty roared. “When did the lions last eat?”
“About two hours back, almighty.” The minister was quick to reply.
“I don’t think they would mind a quick snack in between meals, huh? Take this man away and feed him to my fine animals.” The almighty said pointing at the young messenger.
“Pardon me for asking, dear almighty, but what about the queen?” The minister quizzed.
“Ah, don’t worry over it mate. I have got forty three more.” The almighty said, doing some quick
calculations on his fingertips.
Amid chaos and all that shouting, the boy was dragged out of court to be served to the same flesh hungry lions her mother tended to.
“So where was I? Yeah, about how I suppress riots.” The almighty remarked after calmness returned to surroundings. “You see, I sense people revolting, I give a shoot at sight order to all my men. They kill everybody they find on streets, men, women, children, cats, dogs, and camels, i.e., everything that can walk and kill. This way people realize that dying at home out of starvation is way better than dying out there on the streets like a dog, with an iron arrow floating through your chest.”
“Amazing, dear almighty.” The old man remarked in admiration.
“You, old man. I like you already. I am pretty sure that you are the one who has truth tucked nicely in his armpits. But mate, I have got some protocols to follow. If I don’t follow them, nobody will say anything but hell, I like to follow them anyway! But don’t worry; I will favor you, for sure.”
“So it all brews down to this, either somebody give you money or you will spark a riot but this man here, is in no mood to lighten his pockets.”
“Exactly, dear almighty!” Both men responded in tune.
“I have got a simple solution to preserve the integrity of my kingdom. To save the thousand innocent lives who might have been lost because of riots and starvation if I had not taken this harsh decision.” The almighty said, displaying the expression of a man who just had brought back mankind from the brink of extinction. “We pay the old man forty five hundred tukas from the royal treasure and dismiss the case as of this moment.” He continued.
Both men emerged from the hall, happy with the verdict that had been showered on them. When they found a place where they knew nobody could spot them, they got down to business.
“So, how much is my share?” The young man asked, his hands shaking on his stick.
“Forty five hundred divided by two equals a little less than a thousand tukas, but hell, you are my only son. I’ll give you a full thousand tukas!” The older man exclaimed as he handed the discussed sum of money to his son.
“Thanks! I love you so very much.” The son responded in absolute joy.
“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t spend it all on that stupid girl I hear you hanging out with.” The old man turned his back on his son and went on his way.