Dirty Mouth Calligraphy
i've got this needle in the back of my head
that sticks and pokes and makes me bleed
no where near enough to kill me
but just to make the synapses twitch
i'm done with reading apologies
and dirty mouth calligraphy
"how can you hurt me like this?
and can't i have just one more chance?"
how did i get to hurt like this
and why doesn't it ever click
when i'm hearing the phone
and i'm rejecting the urge
to take it all back
and pretend you deserve-
when all i did was everything right
i hope and know you realize
exactly what it's like
to be hopeless in this situation
and increasing my agitation
doesn't help the case at all
the jury sits and shakes their heads
and with a sentence judge it neglection
it should have been obvious the first time
but after all you're not one for admitting you were wrong
i take that back-for changing what you know you should
but take backs and safety straps
were the problem all along
so forgive for me not singing you your favorite song-
when i was never good enough
go run to whatever you thought made you feel better
because i swear there's nothing better
and yes, i'm relying on nicotine
but there's worse i've done and you know what i mean
so i'll take the cigarettes and keep my self clean
my blood and brain can't take much more strain
it's ICU and i'm depriving myself
of doing exactly what i shouldn't do
believe me when i say
the hardest thing isn't resisting intoxication
it's trying so hard not to engage in conversation
and saying exactly what i shouldn't say
a four letter word that has become my grave
