Miss Piggy Dumps Kermit The Frog
So the latest among the Hollywood blogs
Miss Piggy dumps Kermit the Frog
Media headlines read IT FINALLY HAPPENED !
Males are all over the world are clappin'
Miss Piggy says, "Out with the old, in with the new."
"Kermy and I are no longer an item, we are through."
She goes on to say, "This decision came after one night when Kermy and I went skinny dippin' in his private pond."
"I recall it was just before the break of dawn."
"After that swim,among other things, I caught pneumonia."
"As I was bed riddened in a hospital, Kermy brought me a gift, a ring, it was some cheap ass Cubic Zirconia."
"I need a male who will handle me physically , both out in public, and always behind a closed bedroom door."
Kermit responds with," I thought I was giving her what she wanted/needed, but she is a non-stop sex machine, with her, it's always more, more, more."
Kermit continues, I'm exhausted, there will be no more takin."
"From now on, she can fry her own bacon."
Miss Piggy replies back, "Maybe I will shack up with Porky, or The Three Little Pigs until I find a place to live."
"But be prepared boys, to give, give and give."
Miss Piggy finishes eating from her limousine trough.
She blogs, " I am having a tryst tonight with David Hasslehoff."
She blogs,"I've to keep my social and sexual life in balance."
The next day, David does not show up on the set for America'S Got Talent.
"I thought he was tough like he was in Bay Watch and Knight Rider on tv."
"But it was such a disappointment sexually."
"David failed to perform, he had a lot of sexual tension."
"David fires back,"Here's the part she so conveniently failed to mention."
David continues, "When we hit the sheets, there was a lot of grunting, snorting and squealing."
"All I could do is look at the ceiling."
Miss Piggy comments,"Another one bites the dust."
She continues, "For me, it has always been pure unadulterated lust."
"So if any you fellas want to hit the sack, maybe you, Sir Mix A-Lot, come get some, Baby Got Back!"
Sir MIx A-LOt never does respond to that.