“You know I saw a strange dream last nit Hanzy”, she said frightened.
“Oh you always do sweetie. Don’t be absurd, dreams are just dreams.” He was as usual careless.
“I’m very upset, not about my self but you. I saw you were…”
“Come on Roya, leave, it was just a dream, that’s it.”
“But I want to tell you that…”
“Ok, I am going for work, we’ll talk later, bye”
And the phone cut off.
She was in bed, pale, feeble, shattered and wrinkled. She was though a beauty but her grave fear was eating her up inside. She was not sure herself what it was but she knew one thing, it was about Hanzala. She at once felt his soft lips on hers, his hands on her spine and her own eagerness to feel herself lost in him…but when she opened her eyes, she found herself…….alone, as she always had! The thought of this biting loneliness made her cry like hell. Another big problem she had, she could not meet him freely. It gave her pain more than one can imagine. But somehow, she managed, because she had to. He was her everything.
Three years ago, when she met him on a wrong number, she was stunned how God’s will works. He was her ideal, brave like a knight, young, handsome, rich and ambitious.
“I want to be in the fastest lane of my life”, once he told her.
“You’ll be my love, and you are!” she would say him kissing on his finger.
And then they would forget the entire world…
Roya loved him for another thing, he never wanted her like other lustful boys, and his soul was not at all evil. He had pure eyes that displayed his charming and adorable naughtiness but he was not the slave of his body, and that made her love him more like a maniac.
Their love amplified, their thirst bit them like a hungry hound, but the thought of evil was out f their love.
One day she said to him lying in his arms, “I’d love to be with you forever Hanzy, please marry me.”
“You know I love BMW 6 series, and my father bought it to me as a gift, its beautiful!” He ignored what she said.
She madly kissed his lips and said, “Your car is yours, but don’t over look we. I want my answer.”
This had been happening for the last seven months but he paid no heed to what she had been saying. On the contrary, he kept busy in his business and did not know that his beloved was burning inside, her soul melting and evaporating with every moment passing by.
At last that day came, a deadly day, 13th September. He called her when she was in her university. He wanted to see her and so she consented. He picked her up in the late morning and they set out on the scenic roads of Islamabad. He did not say a word. At length she broke the silence.
“Where would we go Hanzy?”
“In the middle of nowhere Darling!” he said carelessly.
“Hanzy! It’s my last time with you. I am just tired begging you for our eternal union, come on just make it clear! Why you don’t want to marry me?” she was annoyed.
“You want to listen to the truth baby?” he asked.
“Of course yes.” She said.
They stopped near a barren garden, even though it was not the autumn. He held her hand, hugged her warmly and gave her a soft trembling kiss.
She was perplexed, she smelled something negative, and then angrily asked him to tell her the real thing.
“Do you love me Roya”, he asked
“Yes, I do.”
“I’ve never measured my love for u”, she said with wet eyes and choked throat. And she saw his eyes wet and pained too.
“My darling! I said I can not marry you, didn’t I? I was a fool once in my life. You remember I told you that I loved Gang wars in my student hood, and I did fight one.”
“You also remember that I had four shots in my back. Doctors took out three of the bullets, but one was left inside. That one bullet has now turned into a lump and it’s malignant.” He was saying.
“Malignant!” she was stunned.
“Yes Roya, I am suffering from Cancer” he blasted.
“Cancer, come on Hanzy, you must be joking as you always do.” She could not believe him.
“Its true, and I can’t spoil your life. Doctors say I have maximum three years to live, and then I’ll be vanished from this world as if never existed.”
She said nothing. She saw him for the first time in life so disappointed. She herself was shocked and felt her soul stepping out of her body.
“But cancer is curable Hanzy!” she said.
“Yes, but not in my case. The lump is inside the shoulder blade’s muscle and continuously entangling numerous veins with itself. So it’s not curable my love.” He said.
“I’ll die without you Hanzala” she was wounded
“Don’t Roya; whole world is in front of you. I’m not the end. So much lies ahead. You’ll have better options”, he tried to hide his bewilderment.
“But those options are not You! I need you Hanzy; I love you and can’t see anyone else by my side. I won’t live without you. I can’t live without you. I’ll die Hanzy, I’ll die,” she was crying like hell.
This was the day when hundreds were dead around the world, what was her feeble soul in front of the Fate!
After that day, constant headache started dwelling in her brain... She had been a very bright student of her institution and people loved her. But the eyes of people can never see the Fate of brilliant ones. This luster is just an outer cover that hides the dark and ugly skin of Fate.
She kept pondering upon her ill fate and tried to fulfill the promise she made with Hanzala, “I’ll die…..”
Her parents were tensed on her illness and constant headache. But it was going out of control.
It was eight months after his illness broke to her, May, when the roses are bloomed, trees are green, birds are chirping, and every bit of Nature is happy, this happened.
One night, she was lying in her bed, her eyes dried up. She had heard that tears finish after a certain period of time if someone keeps crying, crying and crying. She laughed when she heard it, but now her own eyes were dry and this thought made her cry dearly, but without tears. Headache was augmenting moment by moment, and she did not know why she was enjoying it. She kept praying to God, “I want to die my Dear God! Please call me before you call my love to you. I want to welcome him on the gate of heaven with open arms. He shall be alone; I know he can’t live without me and me either! Please call me”.
Lying in the bed, she only thought of fate, it works, always its own way, never the way one wants, but its own way. She slept and she dreamed of him.
‘Hanzy dropped her on her house leaving her alone. She was wearing a white dress with red roses and one rose in her own hand, a half bloomed flower that he had given her. The road under her feet was barren and dry, and the earth in the air. Sunlight was stinging and the blue hue of sky, vague. Hanzala’s car was moving steadily on the road, and then the car disappeared. She stood alone, and saw the red rose in her hand that had cut her silky palm and blood running like stream from her hand. She saw it, and started laughing loudly….and then her laughter converted into bitter screams of pain.’
She woke up crying and madly called him. She wanted to see him for the last time. She wanted, not the powers above.
She called him; it was three o’clock in the morning.
“Hanzy! Would you come in my funeral if I die?” she asked.
“O yes why not sweetie, when are you dying?” he said naughtily, though it was too late at night but his eyes were widely open, may be due to some fear.
“May be tonight, or tomorrow. Do make it Hanzy; I’ll be waiting for you”
“All right dear, see you then” he said.
“Say you love me!”
“Say you love me Hanzala!”
“What happened to you dear?” he was staggered.
“I love you Roya, and it’s really you that I am alive for! I love you.”
“Thank you and I love you too. See you in heaven, Good bye” and the phone line was dead.
That night she was ecstatic, she felt Hanzala’s hug, his arms around herself, then prayed to God and her soul took an eternal flight for a one way ticket!
“Hello Hanzala! Is it you?” said Natasha.
“Yes it’s me, who is this talking?” he wondered.
The voice on the other end was extremely bereaved, he was baffled.
“Roya is no more with us”…and the phone fell off his hand.
“I’ll die Hanzy, I’ll die”