Down on the Marina.
I'm sitting down on the marina in San Francisco, looking out the window of
my car. I'm homeless. I've and got nothing better to do, so I just sit in my car and
watch the people walk by or ride by on their bikes. I've noticed a lady come down
here four days a week with about eight dogs. She throws a ball in the water, and
the dogs run after it. The dogs look pretty stupid to me, but I guess they're
having a good time. There are two seals that like to come and lay out on the
dock where the boats are, and there's lots and lots of boats.
Today I notice a pregnant woman in a blue dress pushing a man in a
wheelchair, and they're both wearing the same kind of hat. Blue with white
letters on them. I start thinking, how did this guy get her pregnant? I thought if
your legs stop working that your dick did too... and then I started thinking, maybe
she was in another relationship, but found this guy in a wheelchair and fell in love
with the way he talks to her. Or maybe fell in love with the way he looks at her...
because maybe when he looks at her, he really sees her... or maybe I'm just
jealous that he's fucking and I'm not. I'm not sure. I mean I'm happy for him. I
At 10:00pm you're not allowed to be parked at the Marina, but that's kool,
because I leave at about 6:30pm to go and do stand-up comedy. Mostly open
mics, but sometimes I get a paid gigs, and I'm really good. So good that I can get
other open mic comedians to buy my DVDs. I'm only good on stage. When I'm off
the stage I'm not sure what to say, so I don't say too much. I just ask people if they
would like to buy my DVD. It's just a plain white DVD, with no picture and
no writing on it, but I still sell them. I only ask for donations, but if the donation is
too small I won't take it. I'm really looking for about ten dollars, but I ask for
donations, because sometimes people will give you twenty, fifty, or even a
hundred dollars for one DVD, because they think I'm worth it. And I am.
At the end of the night, and the comedy show is over, I like to go back down by
the Marina and park across the street from the water in front of a big, bright yellow
house. I think to myself I'm going to buy that house someday, and move in there
with the girl of my dreams. She's an actress, who does stand up comedy too.
She's not very good at either, but she's the cutest girl in Hollywood to me, and
she's got a sweetness about her. But I'm sure she's very shallow like most girls in
Hollywood. I don't care. I just want what I want, and she's the one I want. I never
told her how I felt. I just assume I got to make it first as a comedian or actor
before I can worry about her. But I find myself day-dreaming about her all the time.
She comes from a well to do family. Her Dad is a movie producer, but he's
never produced anything of quality. He's a hack, in it just for the money, not the
love. Her Mother is just a housewife, and she and her Mother are really close.
She's 25 and still lives at home with her parents, has never moved away from
them. I wish I didn't like her so much... or think about her so much, but she's the
only girl who ever took my breath away. I used to think that was just a thing that
people would say. Until one day I saw her and couldn't take a breath. I couldn't
think. It was like I was frozen, and I swear that's never happened to me before.
It's really a helpless feeling, and I like being in control of myself. She's one of the
reasons I left Hollywood and came up to San Francisco. I was hoping to forget
about her, but I think about her more now than ever before. And she's probably
the reason why I'm not getting any pussy. I compare every girl that's interested in
me to her, and I always think "you're no __________ ____________". The girls must
think I'm weird, because they'll throw themselves at me and I act like I don't know
what's going on. I hate just thinking about one girl. I always thought a man
should have more than one woman... but she's the only one I want. And I wish she
wasn't, because she's just a fantasy. I would never tell her how I feel, because I'm
just a loser who sleeps in his car.
She'll probably marry some guy like her Dad... a guy who produce bullshit movies.
And I'll probably die in my car. I'm hoping right here in front of
the Marina... so I can die somewhere beautiful.
THE END! Walton Jordan.