Secrets from a Writer's Notebook
I had a dream that my father died and that my mother and I were homeless. I had another dream that I was asked to leave school . . . for good. See, I couldn't be who they wanted me to be and I was letting fear hold me back from living the kind of life I wanted.
I think the best possibilities are the ones that are the most uncertain and full of promise.
I liked this man for a really long time but I never told anyone and I hid my feelings and especially from him cause I was scared. So scared that I flirted and pretended to like other men just to throw him off.
But now the man is gone and I wonder if it was a mistake? I wonder if I did indeed do the right thing? But we are such different people and I wonder if I would have arrived at the same place if I had made another choice? (I had chosen to remain Piper Davenport, and be a loser.) I think of words that have power and meaning but those words no longer make me feel the same things?
A dear "friend" told me to follow my intuition and I arrived at the following:
I am scared of the future, afraid of being alone and trying not to worry about being worried.
I can't think about that now . . . I have to just keep dreaming and yet,
I am a strong person.
I am a new woman.
I think facing these things and renewing my spirit, including avoiding insecure people, are my themes for this year. If I can overcome what holds me back, then I am ready for my next challenge.
Possibilities, I wonder.
