Secrets of and Old House
Minnie And Old Stumpy
Minnie and Stanley Bush were the oldest couple in Cave County Virginia. Stanley, better known as Old Stumpy was fifteen years older than Minnie, she was sixty.
Old Stumpy was old but still functional despite the fact he drank about a liter of home brew every day. Minnie hated that he drank so much but he had done it all his life and was not about to stop at his advanced years.
It was said Old Stumpy was henpecked, all Minnie had to do was say “Honey do this or that” and it was done. Romancing was what Old Stumpy was famous for. He would set on the Court House lawn and clasp his walking stick between his knees and tell tales on him self. Had to keep his hands free so he could talk. Tie Old Stumpy’s hands down he couldn’t say two words.
Old Stumpy got his name from losing a leg below the knee in the war. He liked to brag about the women he went romancing with in France .He told stories for the purpose of making Millie take notice. She took notice all right. She made him buy her a string of diamonds and propose to her again after fifty years of marriage.
It seems there was some fluctuation in this marriage. Old Stumpy told it one way and Millie told it another. Millie threatened to write a story about it but her spelling and punctuation was awful and she was ashamed for anyone to know how uneducated she was. Also there was dilation of her pupils making writing difficult for her. Just thinking about making love with Old Stumpy set her to making preparation. If it was a success they had a celebration. Ejaculation brought Old Stumpy to the point of hydration, some home brew finished the equation.
Old Stumpy used to tell a tale about the plantation he was born and raised on. He said it disappeared in an earthquake.”There was terrible thunder and blazing lightning just before it hit” He said. Frankly he thought they were all goners .The house and barns were gone and the well was spouting to the sky. Of course every one knew Old stumpy was a Liar and every thing he told was just an exaggeration. 384