Even Famous People Fart | By: Jan Andersen | | Category: Full Story - Life Bookmark and Share

Even Famous People Fart

We build them up, then we knock them down. Successful people that is.

We gloat to family and friends from other parts of the country about the latest home-grown talent, putting them on a pedestal and watching their faces appear in every newspaper and on the front of every major celebrity gossip magazine.

Then what happens?

That’s right. Some photographer from the gutter press camps out behind a tree for two days and then pictures the idol with their latest partner on a remote foreign beach, wearing not a lot and displaying, unspeakably, a miniscule blob of cellulite. Cellulite? Well, goodness me! I was under the impression that famous people were godlike, superhuman entities, who didn’t have bad hair days, skin problems or dental plaque and only ever had lumps and bumps in the acceptable places.

The photographer then scurries off to his dark room and, with crafty dexterity, magnifies the imperfection ten thousand times ready to splash on the front page of the following day’s major tabloids, along with some bitchy editorial.

When they’re not busy sneaking up on unsuspecting celebs trying to conduct the private life that the rest of us mere mortals are entitled to, these media reptiles are digging up some misdemeanour from a whiter-than-white superstar’s past.

And if they don’t unearth anything seedy enough, they make it up.

It is a sad fact, however, that this unscrupulous behaviour is fuelled by the public’s enjoyment of reading such tripe. Not only does it make Mr or Miss Average feel better about themselves, but it demonstrates how jealousy of others’ success, wealth and beauty can promote enjoyment of an accomplished star’s imperfections and public disgrace.

Let me highlight the case of 17-year-old female pop idol, Billie Piper, who comes from Swindon, the town where I live.

When Billie reached No 1 in the UK charts in 1998 with her first single, Because We Want To, she was the youngest female to achieve a UK No 1 for 38 years. Everyone here boasted about Swindon being put on the map once again as a town that had bred yet another star, along with Pammy Anderson look-alike, Melinda Messenger.

It was not long, however, after Billie had appeared on numerous TV shows and began producing follow-up hit records, that this pride soon turned to envy and hatred amongst her peer group.

She suddenly found that she couldn’t go out shopping in Swindon town without having abuse hurled at her, or being elbowed by jealous girls. Worse still, she received a series of death threat letters, some of which were addressed to her parents.

The victims of this unacceptable behaviour, however, are not always those in the public eye. Take my 14-year-old daughter, for example. This time last year, she was a happy, outgoing and kind hearted young teenager, who was popular amongst her genuine friends, but was the target of green-eyed and cruel comments from other girls. At the time she appeared to shrug off this unprovoked abuse with a maturity far beyond her years, but underneath this torture was taking its toll.

Over the past six months I have seen my daughter turn from a healthy, intelligent, bubbly girl with long, blonde hair and a beautiful figure, into a depressed, withdrawn and lethargic waif. She has had her hair cut short and dyed red in an attempt to put a halt to the “blonde bimbo” comments and has been officially diagnosed as Bulimic. She is seeing a Psychiatrist once a week as a result, but at the moment there is no sign of the situation improving.

All this, according to the doctor, was sparked by one vicious comment from a girl at school.

What I would say to those who condemn is, “take at look at yourself.” Everyone has an aptitude for something and I don’t mean an exceptional talent for art, music or sport, but something as simple as having compassion, the ability to listen, or even a flair for cooking or gardening. And any parent who manages to raise a child and successfully teach them right from wrong, is outstandingly skilful.

If everyone concentrated on making the most of their own gifts instead of using their energy to attack and belittle others, then they too would flourish.

Successful, attractive, wealthy and well-known people probably look less than perfect first thing in the morning, they break out in the occasional zit, suffer from pre-menstrual tension, have hang-ups about their bodies, suffer identity crises and have relationship problems. Above all, they have feelings, just like you or I and they should not be slated for any attributes with which they were born or have worked extremely hard to achieve.

And yes, even famous people fart.
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