It Was Our Turn At Bubba's To Spend The Night
We take Bubba home to drop him off
His father and mother come out, they begin to hack and cough
His father extends his hand out to shake mine
My wife says don't be rude, go ahead and shake it, I do so, his hand is covered with mucuossy slime
After shaking his hand, I begin to gag
The wife with no bra, smiles and hands me a Save A Lot shopping bag
She takes a swig from her 32 oz brew
Then offers it to my wife Sue
I say come on, it is your turn to show manners now
As she takes a swallow, I watch her face, the expression looked like she was trying to give birth to a cow
Bubba asks his father if we can all stay the night
The father says fittin' us all in one bedroom will be very tight
I tell him we will sleep in the kitchen near the back door
He says pay no mind to critters on the floor
I ask where is the toilet, I have to go
He says out back, you're in luck, I just dug a fresh new hole
I think to myself, this is not the way life should be
A night at Bubba's I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy
At 3 am, they are in the kitchen stepping over us getting snacks
We are offered each a bowl of that famous soup called fatback
Bubba yells I want my box of cupcakes
His mom hands a pack of Reelfoot pork hotdogs and says for goodness sakes
He devours them as if he was in a hotdog eating contest
Bubba says, after I eat my cupcakes, that will tie me over so I can rest
A little after 4, Bubba gets his fill
After breakfast, we were told we can leave on our own free will
After trying some rocky mountain oysters, it is time we leave
The dad says we would love to come and stay with y'all on New Year's Eve
I tell him until 2040 we have plans
He says that's fine that will give them enough time to collect some aluminum cans
We move to another state with no forwarding address
Never again putting ourselves in that kind of mess
