SOFIA'S SHADOW.
Sofia played the violin real well as she did most things and you stood in her shadow like a lesser version of her as if you were just a spare child brought along in case something happened to the number one girl with her fine hair and looks and abilities and talents oozing from her every pore and your father was always saying how good she was and how maybe some day the right man would come along and she’d be well cared for and maybe if he was rich and had a good eye for business she’d be made for life but to you he said nothing worth the words nothing about how well you looked or how talented you were or how some man was going to sweep you off your feet and make your life sweet as pie nothing but moans and groans all the time nothing but his poking finger in your shoulder or back saying about time you had a job and brought money home and not to waste your time with the singing because you had not the talent to make jackshit from it and that you ought to help your mother about the house more to do your chores with a willing heart and not to spend too much time with that Jude feller because he’s just after the one thing and once he’s had that he’d be off like last month’s chicken meat left in the sun and Mother just looked at you her voice shadowing your father’s voice being his echo his second fiddle and not once did she stand up for you or defend you or say anything that would give you a bone of hope in the daily grind of chores and spent dreams and it was always Sofia this or Sofia does that but never Lisa does good or well or Lisa has talent and will marry someone worthy of her only the putting down speeches or critiques and all the while you watch Sofia watch her moves listen to her words her playing the violin the way she can bring life to the Bach the way she can have the right word in the right place at the right time and watch how she dresses so that she looks as if butter wouldn’t melt in her pretty mouth but you when you gaze at your reflection in the mirror see your face and features and you feel second rate seem unworthy to be her sister in some way unrelated to her world or thoughts and when the photographer comes with his camera you are put in to give contrast to her beauty to give an odd counter balance to the scene with your father nagging the photographer about Sofia’s hair her features to be just so so to capture her right the light in the right place the pose to be bringing out her best side her beauty but you are just put there made to sit like some stuffed doll made to be upright not to slouch not to smile not to try and outshine not to be too much in the scene and you stare at the camera willing it to explode to flare into flames but it doesn’t just after his words of watch the birdie the flash leaves you staring into a world of half lights and voices and Sofia smiling clapping her hands talking the right words leaving you gazing into the eye of the camera your whole life one big daze.1
