Why Me
One second I was in my car on the freeway, just driving along like everyone else, and the next I was laying on my back in some strange looking room, being examined by three odd looking 'things'.
"Where am I?" I asked as I looked around the room.
The three beings looked at me and continued to work around me as I lay there with a small cover draped over my semi naked body.
I sighed as they started to examine me, possibly somewhat intimately, but with pure scientific interest, and after an hour they spoke to each other in some weirdly strange language that I had never heard before.
"Wow" I thought, "These guys are real aliens."
I watched as they took a small phial from a shelving unit and waved it beneath my nose, and in less than a second I fell asleep.
I had the weirdest dream ever as I slept, but although I was dreaming, and I knew it, I felt rather elated by it.
When I opened my eyes there were lights on in the room and one of the creatures, a male I guessed by his size and looks, handed me a small glass of some weird clear liquid, which, using his hands, he indicated that I drink.
I sniffed it but there was nothing to smell, and very slowly I touched the fluid with my tongue, but it appeared to be tasteless as well, so, opening my mouth I sipped it and in a few seconds it was gone.
I have to admit that it did replenish some of my liquids, and as I looked at the empty glass the 'guy' handed me a small round plate filled with some form of cooked food.
Very slowly I smelled that, but again the scents were totally alien to me, so, as slowly as I could, I started to taste the food, and once again I was really surprised to find it rather pleasant to my pallet.
A little later the guy, took me to a small room where there was, what appeared to be, a bathroom. Yes, a real honest to goodness bathroom complete with a shower, a wash bowl, and a toilet as well.
I used the toilet and then washed my hands before entering the shower, and as I stepped under the flowing water I was never so pleased to wash as I was then.
The water was hot and refreshing and I made sure that I was clean as a new born baby, and when I opened the door to come out again he indicated that I follow him to another room.
When I entered there were about ten different people there, some were obviously male, others were obviously female, and surprisingly the males were not too different in appearance to me.
I smiled as they sat me in a small chair and then attached some wires to a machine, obviously some kind of monitor, and then to my head in three different places, and then they turned a small dial and waited for something to happen.
As we waited I looked around me once again, an their noise, a type of senseless chatter, started to take on new meanings for me.
I stared at them for long seconds and then quietly asked "Can you understand me?"
The reply I got was "Yes, we can understand you now. This is a translator and it converts thought into words in our different tongues."
I smiled and sighed as I said "Wow, this technology is amazing. We don;t have anything like this where I come from."
One of the males, I think it was the one who had taken me to the shower room smiled and asked "Are you comfortable? The temperature isn't too high or low for you is it?"
I looked at him and smiled at him as I said "Actually, the temperature is perfect for me. Exactly as it should be thank you."
A female looked at me and asked "Can you understand everything that we say to you now?"
I looked at her and said "Yes thank you. This translator is really helping me to relax some. I admit that I was a little worried when I opened my eyes and realized that I was not in my car on the freeway, and I wondered exactly where I was. I assume that I am in some sort of space ship and that you are from off world, as it were."
The female smiled at me and said "Yes, we are. However you don;t have to worry since we won't harm you, and after we are finished looking at you we will return you to your vehicle and allow you to continue on your journey. You will suffer no ill effects I promise you."
"That is most reassuring to know" I said as I looked around again, and then I said "I must say that you keep you space ship extremely neat and tidy. We, my people, are only just starting on space travel. We have only recently launched a small ship which is traveling, even as we speak, to our nearest moon where it will, hopefully, land and collect data for us to use in future travels. One day we may even reach new worlds as you have done. However I fear that will be a long time in coming as my government are already asking if the money we are spending is worth the returns we shall reap."
The female looked at me and asked "Can I ask you something personal?"
I looked at her and said "Of course."
"I can see that you are a male of your species, but, can you tell me how you mate with females. I don't see any sexual organs."
I smiled and said "Oh those, I do have them. I'll sow you if you like."
I stood up and pulled my ultra tight latex skin open, and as she watched me she asked "Doesn't that hurt you when you remove your skin like that?"
"Good lord no" I said, "The second skin is Latex. It was decided that wearing a second 'latex' skin was far superior to having to wear a bulky space suit all the time. It enabled us to work more efficiently."
She looked at me and asked "Are you an astronaut then?"
"I'm a trainee" I said "I was instructed to wear this at all times until my body adjusted to it. I have to admit that it is quite tight and does cause some minor problems for me, especially when I, well, let's just say that it causes some minor problems shall we?"
She looked at me and said "I do believe that I understand."
I smiled and closed the latex suit again and as I sat I asked "Will I be here long?"
"Not at all" said one of the males "In fact, in an hour you can go home. We're almost finished examining you. I have to say that you are the very first specimen that I have examined, that didn't make a terrible fuss."
I laughed aloud and said "I wouldn't do that. I have actually believed for the greater part of my life that there were aliens and space ships, unlike many of my people who believe that we are alone in space. Some of them even say that there can be no other life in space because, for a world to sustain life it requires Air and Water. I do not believe that and am considered to be a little odd. No matter, I know that my beliefs are now confirmed and that the doubters are no more than arrogant fools. Possible even conceited, if they truly believe that,t ours is the only world capable of sustaining life."
The people gathered around me smiled and said "We also have that problem on our world, however we will prove them wrong when we return home, especially since we now have all this detailed proof as well as film footage of the existence of extra terrestrial lifeforms."
I looked at them as they began to congratulate each other on their decision to film my existence, and then I sighed and said "Oh my, suddenly I'm feeling tired."
"It's probably all the excitement" said the female, "Don't worry, it'll all be over very soon."
I closed my eyes then, and after what seemed to be just a few seconds I sighed, stretched and looked out of my car window.
I was parked just off the side of the freeway, less than a mile from home, and as I looked out at the green fields I saw the most amazing thing. A huge flying saucer was slowly moving upward from the ground, and as I stared at it I saw some really odd symbols on it's underside.
I just wish that I knew what they actually said.
N A S A SPACE AGENCY UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
the end
Peter Joseph
