That really is the last straw | By: Kasiy | | Category: Short Story - Comedy Bookmark and Share

That really is the last straw

“That really is the Last Straw”

The room was dark and dull. No life, no movement. Just a bed, couple of odd socks and a very old wooden chest. Dave walked into the room and thought to himself “Who is going to rent this?”

Dave was a young man, twenty seven years old. Blue eyes, light brown hair, slim build and just under six foot two. He likes his drink and is quite lazy. He had just bought this flat but needed a couple of extra quid.

Dave knew that he had to make massive changes to the room if he wanted a hope in hell of renting the room. “Where on earth do I start?”  He said miserably to himself.

Dave went out in search of some new furniture for the room. He got a couple of things but he knew that it wasn’t good enough. He looked in his wallet and saw an old penny and a piece of fluff. He went to the hole in the wall, put in his card and... Three euro seventy five came flashing up. He thought to himself just enough for a beer. So he decided to go to the bar to drown his sorrows. After he had his first pint he asked “Do you take pieces of fluff by any chance?” “No! What are you, Drunk?” The barman replied. “No, but I would like to be” Dave said as if he had nothing to live for. The barman looked at Dave. Dave looked back. The barman knew that Dave was extremely upset and he wanted to say something to help him. “Look Dave”  “What?” Dave said hopefully. “There’s this foreign guy, he came in here once or twice asking’ for a place to stay or if there’s a place I knew that he could stay” Dave stared at him angrily. The barman continued “Look man, if you told me earlier I could of told him ‘bout you. Listen, I’ll tell you what if he comes in again I’ll give ya’ ring. Ok?”  “Ye, ye ok” Dave said.

Dave slugged his way home until he got to the bank he went in to see if he really wasted the last bit of his money on a beer “Damn, what was I thinking?”  So he continued his way home slightly more disappointed. When he got there he saw a man sitting by the front door “Ehhhh, can I help you?” Dave said to the mysterious man “umm, yus let me introduce myself my name is Poca and I am from Poland. The barman told you ‘bout me. I want new room. You ‘ave one? The odd polish man said. “Oh emm yes I ehhh wasn’t expectin’ you.” Dave said surprised “Oh I am very very sorry I got very excited when the barman told me ‘bout you. I pay double money ehh what is rent,” Poca said “Ehhh well what about one hundred and fifty a month?” Dave said “Yus, yus brilliant I take it,” Poca said very quickly. “Oh, emm ok sure but don’t you want to see the room first?” Dave said suspiciously. “Yes very sorry, please I could not find a place, now I have, I am very excited,” Poca said. “Of course, why don’t you come in,”

Dave took out the contract and got Poca to sign it. So Poca is the official roommate. The first day wasn’t too bad a little confusion with the language barrier but they got on well FOR THAT ONE DAY......

The next day Dave woke up with, Poca, beside him. Dave jumped out of  bed and shouted “ What the hell are you doin’, get off” “I’m very sorry. I do this when I am very happy,” Poca quickly responded. “Ye well don’t,” Dave said angrily. The day continued with events like this. This really was just the start. Poca decided that he owned the flat and ordered extra T.V. channels. Then paid it by taking an overdraft from Dave’s bank account. When Dave asked Poca he said he rang the wrong number. And then he asked Poca about his missing shoes that were the same type that Poca had. But Dave didn’t really care as his girlfriend was coming back from New Zealand and he was having a date at his house. Dave looked in his wardrobe and half his clothes were missing. He tried to keep a smile on his face. “POCA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!!!!!!!?” Dave screamed. “What, I ..I..I...I did not do anytin’” Poca stuttered. “Ok but I want you out of the house for the evening by seven,” Dave calmingly said. “Yes of course whatever you say”

So Dave went out looking for some new clothes for his date. When he got back it was six forty five, so he presumed that Poca was out. When his girlfriend came round he made some dinner. Just when they were about to start, Poca comes down naked saying “I think there is sometin’ wrong wit’ de shower” Suddenly there was silence.  Then Dave screamed “That really is the last straw!!!!!!!!!!!”  “Maybe I should get going” Dave’s Girlfriend whispered and then ran out. “Oh and also I borrowed your car well,” Poca said. “But…I…don’t…have…” Dave stuttered. Poca interrupted saying “Well you have one now” “Well you walking down the stairs naked was the second last straw, this is the last straw!” Dave screamed. “I want you out now!” He screamed. “Ok fine I don’t like it here anyway” Poca responded. “OH emmm could you pay this month’s rent please. I’m running a bit low on money” Dave said. “Oh, sure here” Poca handed Dave the money. Dave started to count the money and said “There is an extra fifty euro here” When he looked up Poca was gone.

 Dave sat down on the couch turned on the T.V. and watched the news. The reporter said “Please look out for a man who claims he needs a place to stay,” Dave stared to listen. The reporter continued by saying “He also says his name is Poca and that he is from Poland” Dave stared at the T.V. “Beware he seems to be stealing things from the place he is staying then does things to get himself kicked out. If you know this person or have been affected by him please ring…” Dave ran to grab the phone but then saw it was gone. Dave sat down and started to cry!

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